Body language is a powerful tool that you can use to your benefit in any conversation. As the unspoken piece of communication, body language helps us reveal our feelings, emphasize a point and build greater trust within a group.
American author and social psychologist Amy Cuddy was the first to discover how changing your body language can make you feel more powerful and confident. Although simple, the use of strong body language techniques can help you gain control in any conversation.
Through the use of facial expressions, hand gestures and tone of voice, non-verbal communication can be used for you or against you, depending on what it looks like. Once you know how to use it to your benefit, you’ll also be more capable of understanding and interpreting other people’s body language!
Using body language to set the tone of the conversation
The difference between a relaxed conversation and a tense one lies in the arms of body language. Experts agree that nearly 93% of all communication is a mix between non-verbal behaviour and tone of voice. While our words are important, how we express ourselves matters so much more!
If you want to appear more confident, relaxed and friendly, it’s important to use effective body language techniques to help set the tone of the conversation.
Some of the best ways to do this is by:
Maintaining comfortable eye contact
Having an open, relaxed posture and face toward the person you’re conversing with
Using calm and friendly facial expressions that gives off a sense of positivity and interest in a conversation
How mirroring can shift the dynamic of a conversation
Mirroring is an underrated communication technique that helps you build trust, display greater empathy and is more likely to lead to mutual understanding in any conversation. On a subconscious level, mirroring a person’s body posture and nonverbal behaviour signals to them that they are more connected and engaged with you.
Mirroring starts by observing a person’s body language and subtly adjusting your own to match. Better understood in the neuroscientific community is “limbic synchrony”, physically matching the behaviour of someone else can create an emotional bond and lead to greater cohesion.
It’s not about what you say but how you say it
When it comes to body language, your hand gestures and posture are only part of the puzzle – the other key component is your tone of voice. How you speak can say more about your confidence and reliability than what you’re actually saying.
To improve your tone, it’s beneficial to practice speaking at the right volume without mumbling. It’s also important to pay attention to your cadence. When we speak too quickly, it can show a sign of nervousness or lack of self-confidence.
Takeaways
Body language makes up 93% of a conversation and consists of facial expressions, hand gestures and tone of voice
You can transform the tone of any conversation by using comfortable eye contact, offering an open and welcoming posture, as well as incorporating the mirroring technique to emphasize understanding, connection and engagement
To improve the tone of your voice, slow down your cadence, enunciate each word and speak clearly and confidently
Since the onset of the Covid-19 pandemic, the world as we know it has changed immensely. Young children have had to change their lifestyles quite drastically to adhere to the strict quarantining rules. Whether your child is entering into daycare or graduating from elementary school, much of their lives have been affected by social isolation. From cancelled activities to limited-to-no time spent with friends, your child may be struggling to stay positive.
Depending on the circumstances and life stressors, children are known to develop depression in their early years. While most children are known to be quite expressive in their emotions, the signs and symptoms of depression are very different. Although sadness, anger, and stress are all normal emotions for a youngin’, certain patterns may develop over time that parents should become aware of.
Keep in mind that while depression is a serious illness that should be identified and managed early, it is treatable. After identifying the signs and symptoms associated with childhood depression, you’re able to engage in healthy coping strategies with your child to help build their confidence, enhance their mood, and provide them hope for the future.
How Common is Childhood Depression?
Depression is a common mental illness that is more prevalent in adolescent teenagers and young adults. Over the past couple of decades, there have been emerging studies in the area of childhood depression to confirm that it does in fact exist. While some studies have proven that symptoms of depression may appear during preschool ages (before 6), there is evidence that proves it can affect children as young as 3 years old.
It’s been found that the children who are at the highest risk of developing depression either have a family history, have experienced upsetting events to trigger their depression (such as the Covid-19 pandemic), or a combination of both. Based on the current circumstances, it’s understandable that the uncertainty that’s happening all around us has affected how our children are processing the world.
While 2018/2019 statistics have stated that 20% of Canadian children are affected by mental illness, commonly being anxiety and depression, this number is not representing the entire picture of this pandemic.
Common Signs and Symptoms of Depression in Children
Similar to adult depression, children can experience a wide range of symptoms that are likely to persist for 2 or more weeks. Although symptoms may vary from one child to another, childhood depression is often left undiagnosed or untreated because it’s passed off as ‘normal emotional changes’.
The primary symptoms seen in childhood depression involve extreme sadness, feelings of hopelessness, and continuous mood changes. While sadness is a normal emotion expressed in young kids, the persistent sadness that interferes with normal social activity or interests is suggestive of depression.
Reduced interest in previously enjoyed activities and hobbies
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
Thoughts of death or suicide
What Parents Can Do to Help Their Kids
1. Help children feel comfortable talking about their feelings
This is a critical step in managing childhood depression. Without being given a safe and non-judgemental space to speak their mind, your child may be bottling up their emotions over time. It’s important to foster a family environment and encourage everyone to feel comfortable sharing their feelings without being interrupted.
It’s helpful to plan a time every day or a few days a week to sit down with your child and explore how they are doing. With all the stress and uncertainty in the world around us right now, it’s important to create space and time for your children to bring forward their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Be patient with the process and give them the time they need to engage in conversation.
Not only is it necessary to get to the root of your childs’ problems, whether it’s feeling boredom, guilt, or so on, but it also helps to make them feel that their emotions are heard, validated, and understood. Let them know you’re there, and you’re listening without trying to “fix” any of the problems.
2. Keep your child engaged with positive outlets
Practice tolerating uncertainty: Now more than ever, children are being challenged to navigate through incredibly uncertain times due to the Covid-19 pandemic. Practicing mindfulness can keep your child feeling present in the moment which can help to minimize the fear and anxiety for the future.
Stay Active: encouraging your child to stay physically active can put them into a much healthier headspace. Exercise is proven to improve mental health through the release of ‘feel-good’ chemicals known as endorphins. These chemicals are related to a positive mood and enhanced sense of well-being.
Make plans: Making a plan ahead of time to encourage positive engagement with friends, family, or the community can be incredibly helpful for your child. Check into your local community classes such as painting, dance lessons, or cooking groups. Also, you can help schedule a weekly Facetime group with their friends from school. The act of making and accomplishing plans can help your child feel less hopeless by staying more connected to the people around them.
Focus on gratitude: Spending time each day to focus on gratitude can be incredibly life-changing for anyone, including your child. This helps to keep the good thoughts and feelings in perspective, giving your child more optimism. Consider making a gratitude list and adding 1-2 points to it each night — your child may be surprised how much good is in their world right now.
3. Consider psychotherapy counselling
Also known as talk or behaviour therapy, psychotherapy is a way to address mental health concerns with a trusted counsellor. With young children, this type of counselling involves more games and conversation while playing. These sessions are used to help children and adolescents work through their emotions and learn to express how they are feeling through their words. Psychotherapy also provides the child with tools on how to respond to changes in emotions and new healthy behavioural and coping strategies to use.
Being selfish is defined in the dictionary as “lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure”. Depending on the circumstances, certain behaviours or actions can definitely be determined as selfish. Making others wait over three hours for you to get ready to go to dinner, changing plans on a friend because something better came up, or even neglecting to feed your dog because you need to watch the final 3 episodes of your show – sure, all of this can be named ‘selfish’.
But it’s not always this black and white.
Taking time for yourself to satisfy your own needs before someone else’s should not always be deemed selfish. Perhaps you’re a people pleaser and time after time your needs aren’t being prioritized over the needs of others. The energy you’re giving to others takes away from what you’re able to give back to yourself. Oftentimes, this happens at the expense of your own mental well-being. Your own health is pushed to the back seat without really understanding the consequences this may cause.
Saying no to others means saying yes to yourself
Before any changes can be made, you need to begin acknowledging the power of no. Saying no to others isn’t something that comes naturally; in fact, it takes a lot of practice to go about it without needing an excuse to validate your reasoning. But much like saying no has its implications, saying yes does too. Each time you choose to say yes to an invitation or request, you’re saying no to something or someone else. This someone you’re saying no to is yourself.
In the efforts of changing your behaviour to better suit your needs, here’s a list of 6 essential reasons why taking time for yourself isn’t selfish.
Selfishness is your own perceived judgment.
Judgement from others, especially those we care about, is a tough pill to swallow. As social humans, we take pride in our self-image. Through feelings of guilt and uncertainty, this perceived judgement of being selfish causes us to re-evaluate our priorities entirely. To fight these feelings, we go above and beyond to attend to others’ needs before even addressing our own.
Don’t you think that’s a little counterintuitive?
Placing more value on self-care doesn’t make the time you spend with others any less significant. It’s better to acknowledge that self-care comes from a place of love rather than a place of selfishness in order to dismiss any perceived judgment from others. As long as your intentions are coming from a positive place, this isn’t something you need to justify to others. It’s about making the perspective shift that helps you cultivate skills and self-awareness which also helps you make your decisions based on your own needs.
Solitude helps improve your mental health.
As social creatures, we grow accustomed to spending the majority of our lives in a social context. Although this behaviour helps establish relationships, enhance communication, and enable proper growth and development, it requires balance. Much like a battery needs recharging after too much use, we as humans do too!
Giving yourself the opportunity to spend more time on yourself helps you avoid the risk of burning out. Disconnecting from your busy schedule for periods of time to focus on yourself can improve your mental health by reducing stress, improving energy, and enhancing concentration. Acts of self-care can be as simple as spending a night in to watch your favourite show or taking a short break from work to go for a walk around the park. Regardless of your preferred pastime, your mental health will thank you.
It allows you to prioritize your goals and improve your habits.
Pursuing your own ambitions requires you to re-think your day-to-day. When your schedule is jam-packed, when do you get the chance to try the things that truly bring you joy? It might mean holding back on dating because you need to know who you are and what you want or it might mean staying home from a night out with friends to cook that new recipe you’ve been wanting to try. Given the chance to do more things that bring you joy helps you to improve your focus, motivation and even productivity. This can make a huge difference in achieving the goals you set out for yourself moving forward. You only have 24 hours in your day, maybe you’re sleeping for 8 of them, but why not make the best of what you have!
Self-care relieves symptoms of anxiety.
Overwhelming yourself with daily tasks can build stress over time. Although manageable at first, the valuable time you spared last week is eaten up by this week’s new commitments and tasks. The rising stress destroys your energy, causing fatigue, restlessness, and eventually anxiety. Spending more time on yourself allows you to refocus on your health so you can return to these commitments with a calm and focused mindset. Adding self-care activities that allow you to zone in on your senses, such as mindful meditation, deep breathing yoga, or even cardio exercises can relieve a lot of these anxiety-based symptoms.
It allows you to give back to others.
We have nothing to give to others if we haven’t given anything to ourselves first; simply put, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Neglecting to fulfill your own needs leads to feelings of unhappiness, reduced self-esteem, and even resentment in others. Giving back to others in a way they deserve requires the proper mindset, a pinch of motivation and a dash of energy. Spending time addressing your needs first will improve your attitude towards others, allowing you to become a more patient and nurturing caregiver.
Discovering ourselves allows us to grow.
The pathways to self-discovery is typically never a straight road. As we grow older, the path may change but the end goal remains the same. Gaining more awareness of the passions, motivations, and desires that fuel you to move through life can be dependent on the time we’ve given back to ourselves. This process takes plenty of self-reflection in order to develop your own life motives, values, and ideals. The better you get to know yourself, the more opportunity you will have to grow from the experiences that are right in front of you. There’s nothing selfish about wanting to better understand what makes, well, you.
Let’s Start Today
Investing your valuable time and energy on your own priorities isn’t a selfish act by any means. Instead, it gives you the opportunity to re-evaluate what will make you happy in terms of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Self-care puts you into a better mood, improves your energy, and transmits outwardly to improve the quality of the relationship you have and develop with others. Saying yes to yourself more often reminds you that your needs are important too. Paying it forward to yourself a little bit each day can make all the difference, trust me.
It’s interesting to think about how interconnected our bodies really are. One thing, whether that be something so seemingly insignificant, could have a large impact on another thing. That being said, what sort of impact could our diet be having on our mental health?
Our understanding of mental health has shifted dramatically over the years as more research has surfaced. The causes associated with mental illnesses have been focused on genetic traits, environmental exposures, and internal brain chemistry. These factors, among many others, are defined links with mental health. However, these are only some of the pieces of the puzzle. Now is time to focus on a key contribution to mental health, and more specifically anxiety: the microbiome.
The microbiome and it’s associated relationship with the brain has risen to the spotlight in mental health research. The emerging area of microbiome studies has brought more insight into the importance of diet on mental health conditions, specifically anxiety-related disorders. Without the requirements for prescription medication, dietary changes are safe and effective potential treatment for anxiety.
First, we have to acknowledge the messages our gut is trying to tell us, and more importantly, what we can do to manage the symptoms that arise from this. Until we do this, we won’t be able to combat the underlying problems through specific dietary changes.
Let’s Talk About Stress and Anxiety
It’s important to note the difference between stress and anxiety as they are known to be used interchangeably.
Stress is a natural response to changes in our internal or external environment. This response produces a stress hormone known as cortisol which functions to increase our blood glucose levels. In the short term, this process is advantageous as the elevated levels of blood glucose provides our brain and body with energy to do work; however, over longer periods of time, this can elicit systemic problems. Stress management is key to avoiding the potential long-term problems associated with the overproduction of cortisol.
Anxiety is the reaction we have to stress. It’s an emotion defined by feelings of nervousness, tension and worried-thoughts. It also produces some physiological changes such as increased heart rate, breathing, and sweating. Much like stress influences certain hormone production and secretion, anxiety does too. Some of the most common anxiety disorders include generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, specific phobias, panic disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder.
The Brain is Connected to the Gut
The brain and gut are two vital organs that are not often recognized as being intimately connected. Without a doubt, it’s difficult to fathom that the relationship between them even exists based on their location within our body. Based on separation, we require networking systems to allow for their communication. These systems take the form of both a physical and biochemical pathway, making up the foundation of our microbiota-gut-brain (MGB) axis.
The Physical Pathway
The vagus nerve is a parasympathetic nerve that relays bi-directional information. It carries messages from the brain to the gut and vice-versa. The vagus nerve is known as the “rest-and-digest” nerve of our nervous system due to its parasympathetic involvement.
These messages sent by the vagus nerve are imperative for affecting our mood. In fact, the stimulation of our vagus nerve plays a crucial role in major psychiatric conditions by modulating our levels of stress and anxiety. Under healthy conditions, a diversified microbiome stimulates the activity of our vagus nerve, helping to control our anxiety-like symptoms.
The Biochemical Pathway
Neurotransmitters and hormones are the chemical messengers produced in the brain and gut to influence our mood. One of the ways our gut can transmit messages to the brain is through serotonin. This neurotransmitter, known for contributing to feelings of joy and happiness, is produced by our gut. Interestingly, serotonin’s activity can be turned on or off depending on our diet.
Another way the gut communicates with the brain is through the interaction of the HPA axis. Composed of the hypothalamus (in the brain), the pituitary gland (also in the brain), and the adrenals (on top of the kidneys), the HPA axis communicates bi-directionally to regulate stress. Gut microbes play a part in its activation which leads to changes in our sleep and stress reactivity. By doing so, they influence memory, mood, and cognition — all of which are integral to proper brain functioning processes.
Through means of the physical and biochemical pathways, we need to implement the appropriate nutritional tools to alter the gut microbiome and encourage better health outcomes.
Diet and our Microbiome
Our microbiome is an intricate system home to billions of microorganisms that make up the gut flora within our gastrointestinal (GI) tract. The complexity of our gut flora relates to our health and longevity. The more complex these microorganisms are, the healthier and more disease-resistant our bodies become. The best way to achieve a diverse gut is to commit to a well-rounded, healthy diet filled with the necessary vitamins and nutrients our bodies require.
Although our understanding of eating ‘clean’ relates more to losing weight and staying fit, it’s so much more than that. Scientists, doctors, and dieticians alike recognize the importance of a balanced diet in regards to maintaining a prosperous environment for gut bacteria. The dietary changes necessary to impact our overall health, including our brain health, are simple yet incredibly effective. Let’s take a look at 5 ways we can achieve this.
Probiotics are the good bacteria that we get from certain food and supplements. They improve our gut health by enhancing and restoring gut flora which influences our metabolism, immunity, and even mood!
Research has supported the notion that probiotics can influence the neurotransmitter release in the gut which ultimately affects (and reduces) symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders. One of which, known as Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid (GABA) is produced by the gut and functions as a mood stabilizer. Through the support of probiotic supplementation, the secretion and activation of GABA to control feelings of fear and anxiety. To think a simple addition of probiotics to your daily menu can cause this downstream effect is remarkable.
Examples of common probiotics you can try today include:
– Yogurt
– Kefir
– Sauerkraut
– Olives
– Pickles
– Miso soup
– Apple cider vinegar
– Soy milk
– Kombucha
Prebiotics are a lesser-known supplement when compared to probiotics. In terms of their protective abilities, they’re just as important. Prebiotics are a non-digestible plant fibre that serves to fuel our lower digestive gut bacteria. They act as a ‘fertilizer’ to promote the growth of gut flora. Due to our body’s inability to sufficiently break them down, they bypass the majority of the digestive tract, arriving in the colon where they can support the growth and long-term survival of this bacteria.
Some examples of prebiotics include any complex carbohydrates such as fibre, resistant starches, and natural sugars. Examples of prebiotic sources include:
– Chicory root
– Dandelion greens
– Garlic
– Onions
– Leeks
– Asparagus
– Bananas
2. Limit Inflammatory Foods
Our gut can become the epicentre of inflammation from a variety of foods we digest every day, without even being aware of it. The irritation from this inflammation causes a disruption in the environment of bacteria that’s in the gut. Through the intimate gut-brain axis we’ve discussed, gut inflammation can significantly influence our stress response through the release of the reuptake of various neurotransmitters.
Some examples of inflammatory foods that can affect digestion include:
– Sugar and high fructose corn syrup
– Artificial trans fats (such as fried foods, baked goods, and frozen pizza)
– Refined carbohydrates (such as bread, pasta, pastries, or candy)
– Vegetable and seed oils
– Alcohol
A noteworthy way to combat the effects of inflammation in the gut is to incorporate omega-3 fatty acids into your diet. This fatty acid is known to minimize the production of inflammatory cytokines to fight back against gut inflammation — more on this in a moment.
Omega-3 fatty acids are polyunsaturated fats that we must get through our diet. Better known for their role in preventing heart disease by lowering blood pressure and minimizing risk for clots, omega-3 fatty acids are also shown to be key players in overall brain health. Our central nervous system, consisting of the brain and spinal cord, has the highest concentration of fat cells (including omega-3 fats) compared to any other system. With its abundance, it assists with brain functioning by preventing inflammation and producing dopamine, a ‘feel-good’ chemical in the brain that helps to protect us against anxiety.
Sources of omega-3 fats include:
– Fatty fish (such as salmon, mackerel, tuna, and sardines)
– Nuts and seeds (such as flaxseed, chia seeds, and walnuts)
– Plant-based oils (such as flaxseed oil, soybean oil, and canola oil)
4. Stay Hydrated
Drinking your daily dose of water can be a challenge for many of us. Depending on your energy expenditure and food intake, you might not have the same thirst level but still require a minimum amount of water. Oftentimes, people tend to neglect its importance when it comes to overall health, not to mention its role in our gut health.
Getting enough water throughout the day plays a beneficial role in maintaining the good bacteria in our digestive tract. In addition, it helps to flush out any toxins from your GI tract, keeping your gut healthy. A good trick to remember is the 8 by 8 rule: 8 glasses of 8 ounces every day, minimum.
An overlooked feature to better gut health is to give ourselves enough time to digest the foods we eat. As mentioned earlier, the “rest and digest” state is meant to turn off our body’s internal stress system and focus more on resting and digesting. Slowing down digestion by taking smaller bites and more time between each bite will allow our bodies to produce the gastric juices to break down the food. The goal in this is to adequately absorb the necessary nutrients along with vitamins and minerals needed for proper body and brain functioning.
Our vagus nerve can then send signals back to the brain to subconsciously remind us there are no threats nearby, and we can peacefully enjoy this meal. This will then inhibit any signals to begin cortisol production that leads to stress and anxiety.
Start Making Small Changes Daily
Understanding the importance of a healthy gut and the role it plays in our brain functioning can be beneficial to our overall health. Making small changes everyday can have a large impact on the health and longevity of our microbiome which can in turn can work towards long-term anxiety management.
